Endure

I was looking at my collection of sea glass today and felt a certain kinship with it. Once upon a time each piece had a purpose, it's own special reason for existing in the universe. That brown shard celebrated the 50 year anniversary of two people still very much in love. The dark blue once contained the magic elixer rubbed on a child's chest to relieve a croupy cough. The green was clutched in a sailor's hand as he blessed his new boat and the white carried a love letter through time until it smashed against a rock during a fierce tempest but the glass will remember the beautiful words for all eternity.

When your world crumbles around you and your heart cracks into a million brilliant shards of anguish, you are suddenly set adrift. It's a vast ocean that tosses you about with no regard for your safety, your well being, your ability to draw breath into your lungs. There can be life preservers all around but you can't quite reach them. and if you do it's mere moments before it slips from your grasp and you feel yourself going under once more. Caught in the undertow.

Eventually you will surrender. Your body becoming pliant, revelling in the salt water that wraps you in it's chilled embrace. Rolling with the waves of emotion that threaten to drag you down, each one more painful than the last. Each one changing who you are, bending each piece of your psyche to its will. Your sharp edges feel dull, your sparkle not as radiant, but the journey has shaped you into something powerful, resilient and beautiful.

As you wash up on the beach, lying there in the sand, beachcombers can see your shine. Those in search of unique, in search of strength, in search of the mystery within the faint glimmer, they are the ones who will lovingly collect you and handle you with care. They have respect for the tempests you have endured. They still believe you have purpose.

My heart may be splintered into a thousand pieces, my spirit may feel lost without it's other half, my inner warrior may feel broken and weary but I will endure the storm tossed waves. The light that dwells inside me may never be as incandescent as it once was, but those who are deserving will spot the glitter beneath the dark surface and will polish it till it shines once more.

I, like my beloved sea glass, will rise above the murky depths, hurl myself upon the shore and turn my face to the sun.

Someday.

But for now, I will seek solace in just walking the beach and collecting shards of luminosity.